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I’m always telling my older son to focus.  I watch him while he’s doing his homework and I observe my own frustration in response to the way he works.  “He’s all over the place,” I tell my husband.  If he’s writing a paper, he’ll write a few words, look up and play with something on the desk, reach over to the computer and surf You-Tube for a while, go back to the paper he’s writing for a few more words, reach for the phone and call someone, fold some origami, back to the paper he’s writing for a few seconds, then on to his iPod, then he’s up walking around… Exasperated, I tell him, again, “You’ve got to focus! How will you finish your work and make any sense of it if you’re ‘all over the place?!”

Aaah but he’s not the only one.  Like mother, like son.  I, too, can do things in a rather circular, multi-task, ‘all over the place’ manner.   There’s nothing wrong with it, unless you really want to accomplish something :)  And I wonder, is this the creative process unfolding, or a major avoidance tactic?  Am I resisting the task at hand, or giving my thoughts and creative ideas space to ruminate, organize and manifest in their own time and their own way.

I guess the barometer is in the results: is anything getting done?  Sure, we may not need to produce results quickly all of the time, so this round-about creative technique may be suitable and appropriate sometimes, but what about efficiency and production.  Where do these come in to the creative process?  And how can we balance productivity with our creative wandering?

Ok, maybe I’m deluding myself.  Creative wandering is a cute term but, really, it could accurately be called avoidance.   And, given that I became most aware of this pattern while observing my son’s exasperatingly long homework deliberation, he could call it “I’d rather be playing video games,” and I could call it “I’d rather be done with this!”

Remember those bumper stickers, “I’d rather be…(fill in the blank)”?

How often do we, as souls, have that attitude toward our human incarnation?  What is it we’d rather be doing?  Do we notice how often during the day we think, consciously or unconsciously, “I’d rather be…”?  How often does our mind wander away from the present, and what it is we are currently engaged in, and think “If only I could be doing something else, then I’d be happy or at peace.”  And, do we even notice if we have the “I’d rather be” attitude towards our entire incarnation?

As souls, we plan our lifetime before we incarnate.  We meet with a council of advisers, guides and spiritual friends who help us decide what experiences and relationships will help us learn, grow and serve the best way possible.  We set this up from a place of neutrality, outside the time and space of incarnation, and, often, by the time we’re in the midst of our incarnation, experiencing the relationships and tasks we planned as a soul, we forget our high ideals of growth, learning and service, and would rather just hightail it outta here!  It’s easy to think about doing something, but to actually do it can be a whole other matter, especially when confronted with the slower manifestation process in physical form, not to mention the karma we must confront and complete!  As souls, we may think “It’s taking too long, This person will never change, No one’s listening, This place is Crazy!”  And yet, we have a purpose to fulfill.  Our incarnation is not random, and if we can focus and stay on task, there is much growth and fulfillment to be had.

Take a look at your greater purpose.  What did you come here to fulfill or accomplish?  What lessons are you learning, or avoiding?  How much growth are you willing to have?  Can you allow yourself to have more?

Because you are here, at this time, you chose as a soul to incarnate during the most growth inducing time in the history of mankind.  There is more potential and support and inspiration and movement for spiritual growth, awakening and service than ever before.  You chose to be here, to be part of the amazing transformation that the world is going through, so that you, as a soul, could also have that transformation.  Are you staying focused?  Is part of you saying “I’d rather be…” or are you fully here, committed to your purpose and the task of your soul’s incarnation?

Distractions can take many forms.  It’s up to you to discern if any seeming wandering has a creative purpose, part of a gestational cycle, or if you’re spinning your wheels.   If you are in competition with yourself or others, you are likely to distract yourself because your purpose cannot be fulfilled in competition.   Be gentle on yourself, but don’t delude yourself.  We are all here for a purpose.  Outwardly, that purpose manifests differently and may appear big or small by the world’s standards.  Yet, inwardly, each soul’s purpose is equally great, equally important, and absolutely necessary for the soul’s evolution.

Your freedom lies in being here fully, and giving everyone space to be here as well, right where you are, right where they are.  There is nothing to escape, and nothing to out-do, beat or win.  Ascension happens not by “rising above” the world, but by fully coming into the world, fully inhabiting your body-mind, with no resistance or attachment, fully owning your incarnation and your power and creativity as a soul who’s “been around the block” enough times to know more than the world may want you to.  If there was nothing else you’d rather be doing, no where else to go but right here, how much freedom and focus would you have?

If you allowed yourself to be fully here in the chaos of the dream, your power and creativity would be unlimited, because you are unlimited.  When you fully arrive here, you will see the limitlessness of you and your purpose will be fulfilled.  And you will truly know your freedom.

Since I’ve written last, the miracles have certainly been present in my life.  And, yes, I have to be always present with life in order to recognize them in each moment.  I’ve found this especially important for me when it comes to the all illusive game of time that we all play with.

Time…keeps on slippin, slippin’..into the future (I’m hearing that fun and groovy tune as I write )  With a 9 month old active baby boy to care for, time seems ever more to slip out of my grasp.   The days, weeks and months fly by, as he grows quickly into the next stage of development, just as I’ve gotten familiar with the last.  My time is consumed by the everyday needs of my children and family, as I search for moments here and there for mySelf, and for nurturing my inner sanctuary and my creative projects.  If I forget, which I often do!, to be ready and open for the miracle each moment, I get lost in a battle that’s already lost with time and myself.  I seem to never have enough time for all those things: the to-do list that grows and grows.  Inspired ideas become buried in the fog of daily busy-ness.  How can I possibly create space and time for everything, as time seems to speed up more and more?!

Aaaah.  Breathe.  There is infinite time, and infinite space.  That’s what the miracle reveals.  I don’t have to be prisoner to time.  I can be free!

Freeing ourselves from the illusory constraints in our lives, such as time, can be as easy as remembering that they are illusory.  But how do we do that?  Especially when they seem so real?  How do we have “all the time in the world” when there seems to never be enough time?  We can’t just ignore what appears to limit us, saying “oh well, it’s not real, so..whatever.”  We still have to make a living, pay the bills, have relationships, care for our body, follow the basic rules of having a body on planet earth.  Freedom does not come from ignoring perceived limits, or from fighting against them.

Instead, freedom comes from looking at limits, at anything, with the eyes of forgiveness.  Look right at limits, including time, with the knowing that appearances cannot alter your Being, which is free and eternal.  By accepting time and other perceived limits for what they are, by allowing them to be there, giving them space and permission to be the illusions they are, we simultaneously give ourselves space to Be.  Give yourself permission and space to be no matter what else appears to be.  Allow yourself to be with the appearances, not resisting the limits you are encountering, accept yourself.

Recognize time, and any other perceived limit, as part of the nature of the world you temporarily appear to be in, but are never and have never been of.  If you were of this world, you would indeed be bound, confined, trapped and forever stuck in an endless cycle of birth and death, growth and decay.  You would indeed need to work harder and harder to achieve something that would always be just out of your reach.  You would be defined by the limits of time and space.  But, fortunately, you’re not!!  Yay!

You are of God.  You are Christ, the Son (or Daughter, really you have no gender or twoness of God.  You are Whole, Pure, Innocent, Limitless, Eternal.  You are the Essence of God: Joy, Peace, Love.  You are the breath of God.  You are the Beingness of God.  You are beyond these words that are merely symbols and limits in themselves.  You are infinitely powerful and creative.  You are.

So how do we remember our Divinity?  How do we remember our limitless, eternal, all-powerful and creative Self when the world slaps us in the face, when we feel as though we can’t accomplish something, or we’re failing, or we’ll never be able to (fill in the blank), or we don’t have (fill in the blank)?  Even if we don’t feel our freedom and limitlessness, we must be able to know it. And we do know it, because it’s who we are.  We can always know who we are if we choose, because we can never really hide from ourselves.  Just like you can’t tell a dog not to be a dog, and you can’t tell a tree to stop being a tree, and you can’t tell a mountain not to be a mountain;  You can try, but the dog will keep on being a dog, and the tree will keep on being a tree, and the mountain will keep on being a mountain, because that’s what it is.

And You are eternal, free and unlimited Spirit, so no matter how much the world and all of it’s appearances tries to tell you otherwise, you are and will always Be.  Isn’t that fantastic?!  I love that!  Can you feel my enthusiasm?! :)  Your knowing comes from who you are.  Your feeling comes from your interaction with the world, with what appears to be.  Therefore, feeling is easily affected.  It is the effect.  While you and your knowing are the cause.

Think of time as the effect: it’s part of this world of perception.  And then think of You, Eternity, as Cause.  How does Eternity effect time?  Well, time disappears in eternity.  Time does not exist in eternity.  Eternity just Is.  So how “in the world” do you, eternity, become the effect of time?  How do we somehow experience things backwards?

It’s laughable!  Really!  That we could think “Hmmm, what would it be like if I could not be, if I were not what I am?”  That absurd, laughable thought is why the universe in all of its backwardness appears to be.  Fortunately, the more we remember what really Is, the more we laugh at the absurdity of thinking that what Is could be Isn’t, the more our perceived limits, problems, and reversals of cause and effect disappear into the nothingnesss that they are. Phew!  What a relief!  LOL!

In the meantime, as the whole big illusory mess undoes itself, as it must, since it isn’t, LAUGH!  What a joke we’ve played on ourselves!!

Aren’t we hilarious?!

What an amazing year this is.  Just one month into 2010, and I’m feeling a whole new sense of peace, grace and ease happening this year.  And miracles.  Like beautiful sweet surprises that tickle my heart and make me smile inside and out, miracles happen each moment I remember to notice them.

Sometimes we forget to notice miracles, and so we think they are rare or special.  A friend and fellow healer reminded me recently that remembering to see and acknowledge all the miracles everyday makes more space for more miracles.  He shared how he was practicing becoming more aware of them in his daily life, and how fun and profound it is to really notice the abundance of gifts we are given, but usually ignore or fail to see.  He inspired me to take more notice, be more present and grateful throughout each day for what we might usually call “all of the little things.”  And so I did.  Here’s what I found.

Miracles abound!  :)  They are everywhere and every moment.  Like what? you may say…what happened?  Big things are happening, and small things too.  But the thing about miracles is that there is no difference between big and small.  They just happen.  They are.  When we’re able to see that there is no difference between having a friend call to offer help when we need it and receiving an unsolicited check in the mail for the exact amount of money needed to purchase a new house, we know that miracles are the ever-presence of grace being received in our lives.  A miracle is always being given, and we choose to have it, to receive it, by opening our mind to Truth, to the recognition of wholeness and oneness.

Miracles really aren’t about what we happen to “get” in form.  Although what we receive in form can be truly wonderful and helpful.  Miracles are about restoring our mind to wholeness, releasing perceptions of division and attachments to separation.  Miracles are quite natural, and not as special or far-fetched as we are used to believing them to be.  They seem rare only when we are in the habit of seeing the world as separate from ourselves and real.  Miracles come when we see the world for what it is: a dream made up of our thoughts. When we see through the eyes of Spirit, or through a lens of forgiveness and awareness, we see miracles everywhere.  And they come like a stream of happy moments that need no explanation and have nothing to do with our circumstances.  Miracles are like poetry and art, they don’t have to make sense, and they are best recognized through our intuition.

I’ve chosen again to commit to having more miracles, to recognizing the miracle each moment.  There’s a wave of transformation that follows this decision, and it can be intense!  Fear transforms into enthusiastic willingness and openness, doubts melt in laughter, sadness and confusion dispel, and vibrant, radiant joy and creativity emerge.  And it’s a dance.  When I forget to acknowledge and receive the miracle, I wander into familiar and not so fun territory.  My mind is busy, too busy, with meaningless thoughts.  But then, Ah Grace! I remember the joy and freedom of the miracle.  Sweet!  And my mind returns to clarity, serenity and wholeness.

I’m making miracles my meditation, my daily walking, waking, busy-being-a-mother meditation.  My motivation is joy and peace of mind, for that is what the miracle offers.  And I’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by what appears in my world too.  That’s the fun thing about miracles:  the more miracles we have, the happier the dream.

May this year be full of happiness and sweet dreams as we see the miracles we are always given.

Since the earthquake that devastated Haiti on Tuesday, I’ve been watching people come together over the internet to create financial support and direct assistance for the people of Haiti.  How beautiful it is when humanity joins in a collective effort of love for our fellow beings.  I’ve been aware of the intense pain, confusion and chaos happening there: the souls lost in abrupt transition, the bodies left to die or suffer indefinitely, thousands needing help to survive.  My heart is touched by how connected humanity is, and how often it takes an apparent tragedy to make that connection more real.

The question I keep hearing in my mind is:  Why does it take a huge earthquake to get our attention?  Why weren’t we inspired enough to help the people of the poorest country in the Western world before?  Was the suffering of  severe poverty not enough to motivate our collective action? Is it just too easy to be complacent about rampant economic inequality and human rights abuses when there isn’t an immediate and enormous devastating event?  Granted, many of us are not complacent, and/or feel there is little one can personally do to completely change such a systemic and deeply ingrained problem as global poverty. (And, I certainly include myself in the too-often-complacent category.)  What is it, then, that inspires me to action on a daily basis?  How can I remember to love and serve all of humanity, to inspire greater peace and well-being for all, and to give where and when there is need every day?

The events in Haiti, and the global support in response to it, are serving to awaken many to the need for global sharing and teamwork, as well as our ability to meet that need.  Individuals, foundations, humanitarian aid organizations and governments worldwide have responded to the devastation in Haiti, like tending to the immediate needs of a newly inflicted wound on collective humanity.  And it is beautiful and wonderful that we are helping in any and every way we can to heal this wound:  with our prayers, thoughts and visions, financial aid, networking, organizing and mobilizing.

Follow this analogy further.  If what is happening in Haiti is like a huge gash in humanity’s “body” that requires treatment and healing, what are some of the systemic imbalances in our “body” whose symptoms are ignored or medicated away with ineffective treatments?  How can we address the imbalances and the symptoms they produce (ie poverty, starvation and malnutrition, war, abuse, genocide…this list could go on and on…you get the picture) right here, right now?  How can we create new political, economic and social systems based on cooperation, sharing, mutuality, peace and prosperity for all?

We can certainly begin within.  We can treat ourselves with love, respect, compassion, gentleness and forgiveness.  We can recognize our worth, our divinity, the wholeness of our Being.  And we can extend that recognition “outward” by recognizing the inherent worthiness, divinity and wholeness of every Being, of all of humanity and nature.  With that awareness, with that Love, we can act and serve in any way we feel inspired.  No action is too small to make a difference.  Our actions may come through how we treat our children, our neighbors and friends, the person driving really slow in front of us when we’re in a hurry.  Our actions may come through how we talk about our political leaders, how we talk about our families, how we talk about ourselves.  The form of our actions may or may not appear to be helping the world become a more peaceful and generous place, but if we are coming from a place of peace and generosity within, our actions will make a huge difference.  The Love we give, in whatever form, will ripple out and touch the world in ways we do not know.  In beautiful ways, like miracles.

This New Moon, this New Year, this eclipse, the world events capturing our attention and waking us up, they are all opportunities to begin anew, to take action, first from within.  The most important “action” to take, the first “action” before any other action, the “action” that inspires our next loving actions, is forgiveness.  To see through the pain, not ignore it but see it and then see beyond it to Spirit, is the act of forgiveness.  To recognize the Truth of wholeness–beyond the appearances of disaster, disease and depression that emerge as symptoms of our collective mistreatment of Self–is the act of forgiveness that is crucial and miraculous.  From there, do what your Heart tells you: sing a song, care for a child, love your neighbor and your enemy, send money to an aid organization helping people in need around the world, plant trees and gardens, visit a nursing home, write a letter to a political leader thanking them for their work…whatever your heart tells you.

When we begin within, with the “act” of forgiveness, miracles happen.  When we seek to change our minds about what we see in the world, rather than trying to change the world, by forgiving rather than condemning and fighting what we do not like, change happens effortlessly, gracefully, and the results are more wonderful than we could have imagined.  Forgiving and responding from Love gives Spirit space to Be.  It allows Spirit to fulfill the miracles it offers every moment.  Forgiveness is how to be in the world, but not of it.

There are many opportunities every day to begin again, to go within, to forgive, and to take inspired action.  Today I’m reminded not to fall into the sleep of complacency, to wake up, every moment, to the Love that Is, and to offer this Love anywhere and everywhere it is needed.  I offer It first by forgiving, then by giving Spirit space to Be, to share miracles through whatever actions I take and through every person I meet.

May all of our actions be inspired by Love, and may we begin again, each moment, with forgiveness.

We have arrived!  It’s 2010, and the sense of limitless possibilities, unimaginable miracles, and all-things-possible is incredibly palpable.  The air is full of excitement.  My heart races with exuberant anticipation and grateful presence.  Wow! What an amazing year this is:  the year of having, the year of increasingly expanding havingness and receptivity.

Last night, as I ate dinner with my husband, I became aware of the immense excitement and anticipation in my heart, and in the hearts of many.  Although I had a quiet New Years Eve, staying home with my baby, whose experiencing his first cold, inwardly I was full of explosive celebration energy.  It was indescribable, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.  And I enjoyed it moment by moment.  While I was also aware that enthusiasm and joyful anticipation are not everyone’s experience as the new year begins, I celebrated that, despite the worry, resistance and dread that many feel, there is a clear and powerful sense of extreme positivity and happy knowing about the miracles to come this year.  This year brings the gift of mastery, creativity and collaboration.  It’s going to be beautiful.  It already is.

The question I’m hearing is: What are we having?  What are we receiving?  For many, the beginning of a new year comes with thoughts and questions of what the year will bring, what we’d like to create, what goals, dreams or resolutions we have, what agenda for our lives would we like to revisit or recreate.  This is the time when we reflect on the past year and envision the next.  But what is at the root of our reflection and vision?  From where are we seeing ourselves in the past and future? Are we viewing our past through an image of resentment, lack or guilt?  Are we in effort to change what we can’t accept, resisting what is so that our future is somehow better, less painful?

What if we decided to see ourselves, across all time, as innocent, whole, unlimited, and perfect just the way we are?  What if we viewed the past through a lense of forgiveness, saw only the present, and anticipated the future with outrageous joy and enthusiasm?  What if we accepted ourselves fully, gave ourselves space to Be, and simply Loved? Yippee!!  That feels fantastic!

Enthusiasm, Joy, and the Grace of Knowing that is beyond the sense of hope all come with the simple choice to forgive ourselves, Love completely, and accept fully.  When there is no aspect of ourselves, or the world, that we cannot completely give space to be and witness with full awareness, love and compassion, there is no doubt, worry or dread of what is to come.  When we can give ourselves and eachother space to be Who we are and where we are on our journey to Being Who we are in the world, there is no sense of lack, needing to change, resistance to what is, or fear of not having.  We simply know and have All.  Enthusiasm is a sign that we know God, that we are choosing to give God space to Be in our lives, and that we are willing to Be the full expression of the power, creativity and limitlessness of our Divinity.

When we have enthusiasm, we are completely open, receptive, ready and willing to have the miracles given us in each moment.  And, our enthusiasm is a contagious virus of happiness spreading to everyone we come into contact with, like slipping laughter pills into everyone’s drinks, or sneaking a reprogramming disk into everyone’s mind that says “All is Well, let’s celebrate eternity and peace!”  When we have enthusiasm, people may not know why, they may not be able to understand or relate to our extreme state of joy and peace, but they will receive a healing, like a balm of surrender, whenever they open up just enough to wonder how we could be so happy.

My enthusiasm for this New Year comes with an awareness that no matter what it brings, a happy outcome is certain.  No matter what chaos or insanity continues to lurk in the world, I can choose to forgive and have the peace, Grace and certainty of God.  As time continues to appear to exist and move faster and faster, I’m enthusiastic about this fantastic opportunity to master the art of forgiveness, the art of living in the world but not of it.  As ancient structures and systems of society continue to crumble, I am enthusiastic about the opportunity to come into genuine connection and community with others, to co-create and collaborate, to have the immense power of our creativity manifest as a new world, where sharing, peace, prosperity, abundance, play, caring, giving, compassion, nurturing, cooperation and collective awakening are present in every level of our societies: families, communities and nations.  I am enthusiastic about taking our next step in embodying/manifesting a world that reflects the essence of Truth:  Joy, Peace and Love.

May 2010 bring you beautiful miraculous surprises, experiences of You beyond what you’ve imagined possible, and the deepest peace and knowing of God than ever before.

I love to play fun, happy music and dance with my baby.  One of our favorite children’s albums to listen to during this joyful ritual has a song that is essentially a blessing of peace to all.  The loving energy of the song inspires many blissful moments for us, as the singer, Snatam Kaur, sings from a heart full of God.  She sings of how “the sun shines on everyone: it doesn’t make choices.”  And how “when we pray, we pray for everyone: we don’t make choices.”  These lines always trail in my mind, leading to other thoughts about the importance of making choices in life.

In the song, the line “we don’t make choices” refers to giving and sharing with all, and not excluding or selecting out anyone from your sharing of divine love.  When I hear that one line repeat alone in my head, though, it sounds confusing…We don’t make choices?  Of course we do! is my next thought… our lives here on earth are all about choices.   It’s a funny line really.  The words in lyrics are often chosen by how they fit rythmically, and how they flow poetically.  They are metaphorical, not necessarily literal.  I understand what is meant in this song: that love is to be given to everyone, without exception.  Her choice of words, however, can be misleading when the part of the chorus “don’t make choices” repeats in your mind after the song is over.

We all make choices, every day, every moment, but what are we really choosing?  What are our choices about?  Why do we sometimes think “I don’t have a choice,” or have difficulty choosing for fear of making the “wrong” decision?  There’s really a lot of energy on this thing we call choice!

When making any decision, or reflecting on choices made, it’s important to recognize the different levels of choosing.  In form, in the world of physicality, we seem to have a myriad of choices, a multitude of “things” to choose from.  In western culture, especially, we are bombarded by millions of options for our food, entertainment, electronic tools and toys.  There is so much to choose from!  And then, of course, there are all the decisions about direction and goals in our life–how and with whom we spend our time.  Our choices in this realm can often be complex, having many factors to consider, possible outcomes to ponder and repercussions to ruminate.  Our choices on this level can fill our mind with many “what if’s” and uncertainty if we are not also aware of the most basic and true source of our choosing.

In Spirit, there is no choice, there simply IS.  This is the level which Snatam Kaur’s children’s song was referring to.  Our only choice in regards to Spirit is to accept, or have, that which is, that which we already are, or not.  We can attempt to choose not to have Spirit, thereby making up multitudes of illusions of fear.  Our choice against Spirit does not, and cannot, change, affect or eliminate It, but it does effect our experience here in the world and the complex choices we make here.  If we make the choice that cannot be, the choice against Spirit, we are choosing for and with fear.  If we choose to accept and have Spirit, that which we are, we are choosing for and with Love.  This is a simple choice, one or the other, but the joke is that the “other”(fear) does not actually exist, and since you can’t choose what isn’t, there really isn’t a choice!  There’s just Spirit, All, Love, Wholeness, Oneness.

Ah, but back to the world of multiplicity, duality and complexity that we appear to be in…where there are so many choices and so much to discern.  How can we know what is the right decision on this level of form?  Should I take this job or do that instead?  Should I continue dating this person or see someone else?  Will I attend this event or make these other plans?  There are many important decisions in life, and yet, the most important aspect of any decision is to recognize first where you are choosing from.  The first decision is to choose from Love, from That Which Is, or from fear, from that which isn’t.  When we choose from Love, our decision will bring or extend peace, joy, well-being, harmony, freedom, healing, validation, and of course Love!  When we choose from Love, all the details–the “fine print” of our decision in the world–become clear and simple.  When we choose from Love, we have certainty and peace of mind, we have clarity and ease.  If there is doubt, guilt, shame or anxiety, it is a sure sign that we have chosen from fear.

Fortunately, we can always choose again!  Each time we notice worry, uneasiness, uncertainty, guilt, anything like this, we can go back and choose Love:  choose to have That Which Is, that which We Are.  From there we may remake or keep our decision about something in the world.  But, once we have chosen to have that decision in and from Love, we can be certain our decision in form will bring more peace to our mind, regardless of what it is.  Yay!  That’s fantastic!

Ultimately, all choice boils down to love or fear, Truth or illusions.  The way to recognize what we’ve chosen is to notice if we are at peace within ourselves or not.  If we are not, we can choose again and restore peace to our awareness by choosing Love.  In this way we can also make all of our choices here in the world, from the daily details to the major life decisions, with greater ease and certainty.  When we first choose Love, the rest follows gracefully.

“Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added unto you.”  The Kingdom is Love, Truth, Reality, Oneness, That Which Is.  Choose to have this, and your road  here will be clear.  May we all remember the choice for Love in all of our choices.

Time sure does fly when you’re a mama!  Most likely, whether you’re a mother or not, you experience time moving very quickly lately.  It really is!  I just realized it has been 3 months since I’ve written in this blog!  Really?! I thought to myself, That Long?! Wow!  I must really be having fun!

I can honestly say that I have been having a tremendously wonderful time.  My baby boy is now 4 and 1/2 months old, and a constant delight.  Even when he’s upset about something, which recently happens due to his enthusiasm to put things into his mouth faster than he can get his body to put said things into his mouth, he’s always a joy.  Each day, each moment brings new expressions, new developments in body, motions and emotions, new horizons to discover together.

I am reminded in this moment that one of the most amazing gifts a child brings is the gift of presence.  To be with a child, to spend every moment of every day (or almost every moment:) can be a challenge if we are not willing to practice presence.  Each day with my baby flows differently and is comprised of a series of events all centered around either eating, sleeping, playing, or transitioning into or out of one of these activities.  Although life is simple in this baby rhythm, it is not always easy to support the ever growing needs of a little one.  I have to be very in tune with him in order to discern when he is hungry, when he is just tired, or when his cries are related to wanting more mental or physical stimulation, needing a new thing or area to explore or observe.  I’m sure all mothers can relate to this.  It’s a beautiful dance, really, to connect with our little ones non-verbally, to pick up their cues and stay present enough to know what is needed each moment.

Parents must practice presence not only to remain aware of the needs and wants of their child, but of themselves as well.  In order to be a good parent, ready and able to provide for whatever physical, emotional, mental or spiritual need that arises, we must have first been taking good care of ourselves.  If a parent has not been able to receive adequate rest, nutrition, social time or alone time, how can they stay fully present for their child?  They will be too distracted by their own needs.   I have really appreciated this aspect of motherhood actually: the opportunity to give to myself because I must in order to be the best parent I can be.  It is a gift that comes with having children, but is not always recognized as such.

The gift of presence comes with each child.  They call us to be more aware of everything.  In order to understand and communicate with infants we must be aware of the subtle levels of communication, non-verbal and spiritual communication.  In order to support ourselves and our children through life’s challenges and changes, and stay connected on a heart level, we must develop and strengthen our emotional awareness.  In order to take care of our bodies so that they stay strong and capable of holding, carrying, lifting and walking through life with our growing babies, we must have somatic awareness, sensing where we are holding tension in the body or where there are imbalances that may lead to illness.  The various levels of awareness that caring for children requires invites us to practice and master the art of presence.  Being right here, right now, being with whatever is in this moment and being able to respond, that is true responsibility.  And it is the power that our children call forth from within us as they look into our eyes with their deep loving presence and acceptance.

What a joy to have children as our teachers of presence.  We cannot truly be with them if we are preoccupied with our thoughts, stuck in the past ruminating about this or that “coulda-woulda-shoulda,” or projecting in to the future with all of the what-if’s, worries, fears and doubts.  To truly be with a child, we must be present, in the present, in the eternal now of beingness, where we are the most able to respond (to be response-able) to any and every need that arises.  When we are present, we are able to respond effectively, with peace, grace, ease, Love and certainty.  And when we respond with this energy, we are giving back what our children offer/teach us: Love, Presence and acceptance.  We are teaching ourselves and our children to be the peace we want to have in the world.  Through our presence, we change the world.

Parents are powerful agents of change through our presence.  May each of us, parent or not, practice great presence and celebrate our ability to bring peace to our selves, our families, our communities and the world.

In celebration of the exciting and powerful eclipses we’re experiencing this month, I’ve decided to return to my blog, after hibernating for some time.  My 6 week old son, Seren, sits next to me, chirping and singing and kicking.  He’s reclining in his “calming vibrations” chair, and I’m thinking, we could all use a calming vibrations chair!   Eclipses offer us a powerful opportunity for healing.  With these eclipses, however, there is no refusing the offer; change is happening.  Deep, lasting, positive change.  And the rumblings can be felt at our very core.

For me, the healing is taking place especially on the family level.  My “home space”, both my physical home and family space, and my connection to our eternal, true Home and Christ family, is being deeply cleansed.  Old and hidden patterns of projection, blame and denial are surfacing and unveiling.  The mind is rumbling with release, as Light and Truth penetrate deeper through illusions.  Where I have withheld love from my partner, family, my Self, I am seeing the fear and pain of this withholding and returning, through forgiveness, to the wholeness of Self, Love and Unity.  Where I have fallen into complacency, apathy or neglect, this Eclipse time is serving as a jolting reminder to wake up again.  Don’t fall asleep. Remember your diligence and vigilance for Spirit!

What I like about the eclipses is that they can be experienced as a gentle influx of powerful energy.  Although many experience their intensity with difficulty and major disruption, joyous and miraculous transformation is also possible.  Our attitude and response to the healing energy represented by the eclipses makes our experience what it is.  We can respond with enthusiasm and experience happy surprises and blissful blessings.  Or we can respond with ignoring/ignorance and experience fear and stuckness.  We can respond with gratitude and experience wonderful miracles and deep Love.  Or we can respond with resistance and experience pain and frustration.  Fortunately, the choice is ours.  That’s what Free Will is all about: our power to accept what is, and choose Spirit, or reject/resist what is, and deny God.  One restores the Peace that Is to our awareness, the other separates us, in our experience, from the Joy that Is eternally.  In other words, the healing of the eclipse doesn’t have to come through in intense waves that knowck us over and fill us with anxiety.  We can sit in our own calming vibrations chair by remembering to respond with gratitude and enthusiasm, like a child receiving a great gift.

During the past year, since the eclipses of last August, my home family has grown in number from two to four.  Love has grown rapidly in my life, not only in the family that surrounds me and gives me daily opportunities to love, forgive, grow and heal, but also in my relationship with Self, with the family that we all are in Christ, in Oneness.  I am reminded during these eclipses to be more aware of my ever-present connection to All, and to see Christ in everyone.  My immediate family, those I see and relate with daily, often represent the most hidden places within that I have failed to Love.  Gratefully, I have been eclipsed!  Veils that hid the light of awareness from areas where love was withheld are opening, and Love is more fully present, between us and within us.

May you, like a child, sit in a chair of calming vibrations, like the hand of God, surrounded and filled with the Love of the Christ family.  May the fullness and Joy of Love enter each dark corner of your mind and your being, and restore your awareness and experience of the Wholeness and Peace that you are.

Isn’t it exciting when so much change is happening, and you feel the flutter of creativity, positivity, hope and renewal in the air?!  I’ve really been enjoying the energy of the collective on the planet lately.  Barack Obama’s recent inauguration was certainly a large part of the enthusiastic celebration energy in the world, but I see it as symbolic of a much greater change taking place as well.

A feeling of renewal or newness is stirring our collective dream into greater awakeness.   For many, this looks or feels like a longing or willingness to start afresh in their lives, change old habits, renew commitments to Self, or transform their entire outlook on life.  For others there is an inner calling to break from the past and really show up in their lives.  However you experience the energy of newness, know that it is here to bless you with inner strength, hope, trust and certainty in your abilities to create, transform and become who you truly are.

What I’ve noticed amidst this sense of renewal is an often challenging beginning stage, where many people get stuck in discouragement, confusion and fear.  After an initial boost of enthusiasm, commitment and clarity, many hit a wall of energy and lose sight of that great joy and enthusiasm for change and newness. This “wall of energy,” although it is not real, seems very real, threatening and even debilitating.  It is a collection of thoughts that say “You can’t do that,” and “But look what happened in the past,” and “What do you think you’re doing anyway?”  Doubt, fear and a sense of lack and helplessness can crowd the mind and hinder us from knowing the power of our will to choose Spirit and be free from this fear.  When we choose Spirit–choose Good–we remove our power from that “wall of fear” and give it to the unlimited, all-Loving, free and fearless Self that is always in communion with God.  With that Self, the fear disappears.

With the tide of newness in the air, people’s perceptions of what is possible are beginning to change as well.  Perhaps there is even a greater sense that anything is possible.  Indeed, it is.  And with this sense in limitless possibility comes a greater understanding of ourSelves, for, in Truth, we are limitless.  When we know that we are limitless, infinite, immortal Spirit, we are less likely to believe in, or become the effect of, thoughts of fear, resistance, limitation or lack.  When we know that we are always free, no matter what the outer circumstances appear to be, we are empowered to follow our inner guidance, make dramatic changes in our personal lives if need be, be creative and express ourselves, and respond to our inner callings with greater certainty.  We are also free  to love, without fear, limitation or condition.

The change and newness happening in our world and in our lives is a sign of our choice to have and be the limitless, fearless, free and joyful Being of Spirit.  I embrace and celebrate this newness with gratitude and enthusiasm.  And I encourage you to look at what changes you have been making, are currently making, or would like to make.  Validate your choices for positive change, and celebrate the energy of newness that connects you with your creativity and enthusiasm.

Fortunately, there is a lot of help and support for us to choose Spirit, always, and it is especially tangible right now.  The energy of newness is the energy of the Holy Spirit:  alive, inspiring, creative, loving, innocent and enthusiastic.  It is the energy of “Anything is possible!” and “Yes!”  May you know and experience the continuous blessings of the Holy Spirit now and always!

“Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh, o’er the fields we go…Laughing all the way!  HaHa HA!!!”

Jingle Bells is one of my favorite Christmas songs, full of mirth and cheer.  I love the energy of Joy and celebration that the holidays inspire.  And this song has one of my favorite lines, reminding me to laugh all along the way!  There’s another mirthful song I love for its great lyrics and happy energy.  It’s actually a nursery rhyme, but a very profound one, really:  “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream!”

Aaah, if only we could remember to Laugh all the way through life, as we dash over the landscape of our collective dream!  Isn’t it great that we have timeless nursery rhymes and holiday songs with profound little messages in them, reminding us of what’s really important in life?!

This morning a variety of Christmas songs danced through my mind as I took a walk in the sunny cool morning.  I was delighted to be aware of the various hidden gems in these songs.  My favorite, of course, was the Jingle Bells song, because finding my amusement has been even more important to me lately than ever before.   Amusement is our ability to be mirthfully entertained by anything.  Notice I stress the word anything, because the amusement I speak of, as an ability we have, is not conditional.  Our ability to be amused is not limited by what it is that we appear to be amused by.  This is because amusement comes from the inside.  When we are amused, we are at cause, not effect.  It is not what we are experiencing that makes us amused, but who we are that inspires great amusement no matter what the circumstances.

The importance of amusement is even greater when the circumstances seem to call for anything but laughter and enjoyment.  For example, lately I’ve been experiencing a good deal of physical discomfort (hmmm , I’ll announce the reason for this later, in case you don’t already know ;)  Throughout this ongoing experience of uncomfortableness, I’ve reminded myself, as often as possible, to be amused.  When I can become aware of my experience and witness it, rather than identifying with it and losing myself in it, I can choose to be amused, to  witness myself in the great divine comedy and give my experience space to complete.  In that awareness, and amusement, there is great relief, because when we are truly amused, we are identifying with Who we really are, rather than what we are experiencing.  And, it is only our identification with our experience that causes any suffering.

Give it a try!   Practice this with something that appears to cause you suffering, “unavoidable” suffering.  Decide to be aware.  Witness yourself having whatever experience you are having: simply notice, take curious interest in what you are experiencing, as if you are in a movie and you are watching yourself in this movie.  “Hmmm, isn’t that interesting,” you say to yourself, “I’m feeling tremendous fear and panic right now…How curious…”  This may seem silly, but really, just notice, become aware, of what you are experiencing.  This awareness is who/what you are, not the experience, or the body experiencing it.  Then, with that awareness, let it be.  Let whatever you are experiencing be.  Don’t fight it, try to change it or fix, solve it or figure it out.  Don’t resist it in any way (ah…this may be tricky :)  Just say to yourself  “I can have this.  I can let this be, because I know that it’s not really me, and that it will pass if I give it space to.”  Allowing and accepting is not saying, “Oh yeah, I want more of this, bring on the pain.”  It’s really saying, “I see you pain, I know you’re just the product of my resistance, so I’m going togive you space to be, and watch you dissappear.”

Go ahead, try it.  It’s simple, not always easy, but simple.  We tend to immediately resist pain, naturally, because it’s not something we’d like to experience.  But pain is actually the product of resistance deep withing our Being.  So resisting it only makes it worse.  Allowing it actually undoes it, releases it.

How can we possibly not resist the experience of pain?  By having amusement, of course! :)  Remember amusement.  It’s not dependent on what you are experiencing.   Amusement is a great and important ability that will free you from experiences that seem to bind you.  When you are amused, you have your power: you have not given your power over to your experience.   You are amused because you recognize that you made the whole thing up in the first place!  There is nothing outside of you effecting you.  You are it.  You are the cause, your experience is the effect.  So, remember to laugh!   Be gentle with yourself.  You are powerful!

“Into eternity where all is One there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not (ie forgot!) to laugh.”  (A Course in Miracles)